I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
