He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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