her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
