it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
