My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
