life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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