matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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