I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
