Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want nice things and good sex
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
