I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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