R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
