I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize