We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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