I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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