So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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