all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
