After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
