Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
