Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want to fling myself into the sun
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
