You can't special order awesome
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
