So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
