she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
