last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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