I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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