Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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