hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
