Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize