We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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