I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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