Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
