She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
