We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
