soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
