I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
