Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
