It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
