don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
