she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
