Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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