Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
