that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
