I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
