You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
