he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
