Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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