Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
