My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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