My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize