why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
