i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
