It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A+ Viking dick
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
