brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The air was thick with penises
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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