I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
