yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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