hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
