Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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