Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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