Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You can't motorboat a personality
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
