id be glad to
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
